Hi Reader,

Most marriages only need more of one thing.

With more of it, they’d go from good to great. From lukewarm to ghost pepper. From ((YAWN)) to we-can’t-keep-our-hands-off-each-other.

One thing. That’s it.

Except there’s a snag.

The one thing your marriage needs more of — the rocket fuel required to break earth’s gravitational pull and reach escape velocity — is the one thing you can’t possibly provide.

Huh? Why not?

Because men are woefully inept at it. (That’s what we’ve been told by the gatekeepers, at least.)

That one thing?

Emotional intimacy.

((SHUDDER))

Impossible, right?

Beyond your ability, right?

But hold on ...

What if we’ve been lied to?

What if generating more emotional intimacy and mojo in your marriage is so easy and so accessible and so right under our collective noses that we completely overlook it.
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Follow the Trail

I spoke with a guy in the Midwest this week. He read my second book and called to say thank you. We talked about what he’s doing differently now and the positive ways his wife is responding.

On a recent date night, he put his hand on his wife’s leg while they drove to dinner. Her response was a bread-crumb trail for this newly invigorated husband:

“You haven’t done this in so long. What gives?”

To the untrained ear, it sounds like pushback. It’s the complete opposite. His wife was saying two things:

1. “Is this real? I hope it is. I want to believe it is.”
2. “I’m starving for your attention! Please do more of this! Hold me more. Touch me more. Kiss me more. Please. I miss feeling close to you.”

Hand on leg. You can do that.

In a car. On a couch. In a waiting room. On a barstool.

Not so impossible.
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She’s Making It Easy!

At one point I asked this husband, “What are some ways you can connect with her during the week. I call them small touches. Things that say, ‘I’m thinking about you.’ Like making her coffee in the morning or leaving a sticky note on her steering wheel.”

He said, ”Funny, but I used to leave her sticky notes all the time. She saved every one of them in a shoebox.”

! GET A CLUE ALERT !

She’s already shown you the path back to her heart!

She’s written the game plan for you!

Our wives make it easy!

Don’t listen to the gatekeepers.

Emotional intimacy is easy. It’s only hard and scary to the husband who’s not paying attention.
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Put It to Work

1. Date nights are important. Face-to-face conversation is important. Distraction-free (phone off) quality time is important. They all add up to emotional intimacy. How are you doing with the big stuff?
2. Don’t forget small, meaningful touches throughout the week. They’re equally important. Small things that say, “I see you. I’m thinking about you. You’re my priority.” You should’t need to think too hard about this one. Your wife has already left you a trail.
3. Follow it.

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Your Coach,

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