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How a Bid for Connection Turned into a Brawl
Hi Reader,
Words.
They’re a big deal.
Here’s the thing:
You don’t get to choose what your wife says. You don’t get to choose her words, even the ones directed at you.
But ...
You do get to choose the meaning you give them.
Case in point:
As dinner was winding down, the wife of a client said to him, “You didn’t thank me for dinner.” It turned into a brawl.
Why?
Because he decided “You didn’t thank me for dinner,” meant:
“What’s wrong with you?! You never do anything right! You suck. You’re bad. Bad, bad, bad! Bad husband!”
He attached his own meaning to her words.
He interpreted his wife’s simple statement an attack, a put-down, instead of what it proved to be — a bid for connection.
The Lesson
Let’s rewind the tape.
Using this example, the next time your wife says, “You didn’t thank me for dinner,” there are two ways to hear it:
“You’re a bad husband!”
Or ...
“I need a little more from you right now. Would you get in my space? Would you put your phone down? Would you make eye contact with me? Would you connect with me?”
Remember, it’s always about CONNECTION.
So instead of taking her comment personally:
- Smile
- Walk toward her like a man on a mission
- Get in her space and say, “Dinner was awesome. I appreciate how hard you work to prepare such healthy and delicious meals for our family. You’re amazing.”
- Grab her and give her a passionate, no-holds-barred kiss. The kind that makes her toes tingle.
- Then say, “The kids and I will take care of cleaning up.”
That will change your marriage.
That will change you.
Master Class (Win Your Wife Back)
The spring semester of my Master Class is ready to launch.
Enrollment opened 12 hours ago and we’re down to 4 available spots.
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And listen, if your marriage is hanging by a thread, but Wednesday at 6PM (EST) just won’t work for you, please let me know. We’ll figure something out.
No man left behind!
Hi, I'm Jeff.
I help husbands grow and become great men. The kind their wives swoon over. Join the one percent! New content delivered weekly.
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